A Weasel I Briefly Met - Tom Cox

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Thursday, 2 July 2015

A Weasel I Briefly Met



It's been several years since I've been abroad. I could put this down to a couple of very obvious reasons - a certain reluctance to plan that can become ingrained after many years of stubbornly self-employed life, my fear of flying, following lightning striking a plane I was on several years ago - but I'd perhaps be ignoring a more significant one, which is that I don't really yearn to be away. I've got an endless list of wild places in Britain I want to visit, all of which I can happily place ahead of overseas equivalents in the queue, but it's not even that. I am more and more interested in the part of the outdoors that immediately surrounds me. Obviously, this is partly because I'm lucky enough to live in an extremely beautiful and (still, for the time being) relative unspoilt part of the Deep South West (Devon and Cornwall are the Deep South West in my view - anyone who lumps them in with "The South" doesn't properly know them), but I was the same in the place where I lived before, on the opposite side of the country, and think I'd bring a similar attitude to any rural location. 

   This is a feeling that has grown in me over the last decade: a realisation I spent my teens and twenties walking around in a cloud of misguided, suggestible ambition, missing a lot of interesting stuff right under my nose, coupled with the worry that The Internet is making the universe smaller in a not always entirely beneficial way, prompting us to spread our experience more thinly, to be "worldly" in the most distracted and inverted comma of fashions. The two square miles around my house alone loom increasingly huge and colourful in my mind, dotted with fauna and plantlife I could study for years and still not truly know. It's when I'm in a supposedly bigger world that I often feel stymied, cooped up. As Rob Cowen says in Common Ground, his brilliant book about exploring what he calls "the edgeland" near his house in Yorkshire: "Ours is a world growing yet shrinking, connected yet isolated, all-knowing but without knowledge. It is one of breadth, shallowness, and endless swimming through cyberspace. All is speed and surface. Digging down deeper into an overlooked patch of ground, one that (in a global sense, at least) few people will ever know about and even fewer visit, felt like the antithesis to all this."

   I walked the lings, water meadows and bridleways around my house in Norfolk very extensively from 2008 to 2013, but it's the noticing part that I've got a little better at since moving to Devon early last year. At one point not so long ago, for example, I might not have picked up on the minuscule anguished squeak I heard behind me in some bushes half a mile from my house on Monday: it might have been lost in the small din of a summer day in a wildflower meadow near a river. I'd have charged on, eager for more fresh air, instead of slowing down and listening, as I did, and I'd have missed the amazing and somewhat horrifying sight that occurred just under a minute later: two furry animals, each no bigger than my foot, locked together, spinning onto the path, at least one of them in extreme pain.

   One of these animals was a young rabbit and the other was a weasel, but it took me a few moments to realise this. I watched rabbits suffer a few times in the jaws of my cats Ralph and Shipley, before I attached large double bells to Ralph and Shipley's collars last year, but this was another level of vicious: seeing the burning darkness in its eyes and the shrieking rabbit in its jaws, I momentarily became the rabbit and the weasel became the headlights. 

   What happened next astonished me further still: a larger rabbit, bouncing out of the undergrowth and hurling itself at the weasel. This, though almost comically ineffectual, was just enough to break up the original ball of weasel and rabbit, and as they separated, all three creatures noticed me for the first time in my static, mesmerised position, not more than four feet away. The grown rabbit hopped into the bushes, its offspring flopped and writhed behind it, clearly badly injured. The weasel scuttled in the other direction, pausing and getting on its hind legs for a second to peer at me in a "Can I take him?" sort of way. I sat and waited and five minutes later the weasel re-emerged, scuttling across the path like a cackling comedy villain in a Hanna Barbera cartoon, confirming everything we know about weasel etymology. I heard nothing more. I wondered about looking for the young rabbit and putting it out of its misery. I knew I wouldn't.

   I'd had a lot on my mind that morning, was probably in a slightly more fragile state than usual, and I felt simultaneously shaken and awed by what I'd seen. Initially I had the thought "I wish I'd filmed that" but I quickly banished it: it was an impulse fostered by the modern condition of going everywhere with a phone, of sharing above experiencing. I already do too much of this, like most people, and I want to cut down on it, if not stop altogether, as it's ultimately just another way of skimming across the world's surface. I didn't actually wish I'd filmed it at all. The Internet just made me briefly think I did. But I felt a little alone with the visceral knowledge of what had happened and needed to offload it. I looked around, but all I could see were some jersey cows. They probably wouldn't have thought it a particularly big deal if I'd told them. As I walked back home through the trees, I got the sense that the Devon countryside's June party had reached its crescendo: the nature equivalent of that moment where you stay out, thinking things will get wilder, and they do, but in a slightly dark way you regret. Blood-caked bird wings and gristle lay on the path ahead of me. Towering bullyboy nettles stung my bare legs: thistles that weren't bold enough to slag me off to my face. I didn't notice until later. As a forager told me recently, "the stings do you good: you should embrace them" but that wasn't why: the only thing I was embracing was my dazed and preoccupied state. 

   What has stayed with me most is the image of that larger rabbit, bouncing so determinedly to its offspring's defence, despite its non-existent artillery. It was impossibly touching and deeply sad, and another illustration of what I've learned about rabbits, living near so many of them for the last year. That they're nature's ultimate hippies, wanting nothing more out of life than to live in peace and eat their greens and have lots of unfaithful sex. In the weasel's eyes I thought I saw pure evil: that look briefly became a metaphor for other lamentations about injustice, greed and selfishness that were whirring in my mind. But naturally this was bollocks. There was no evil here, because this wasn't about choice. A weasel didn't choose to kill a rabbit, not like, say, a local council chooses to destroy the habitats of countless weasels and rabbits when they approve a planning application for some wanksome executive housing estate. It is just surviving, playing a part in the churning maelstrom of the countryside where I live: providing a (albeit especially predatory) part of the death that's an intrinsic part of a great, ever-changing, maelstrom rainbow of life. I am not angry with it. You can't be angry with a weasel for being a weasel*. But three days on, I'm still feeling a little bit shaken from it, and a little bit more alive as a result.

* Rule does not apply to Michael Gove.



Illustrations by Sophie Gilmore. See more of her artwork here. Email me via my website if you're interested in getting your artwork featured on this blog.

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WEASEL FACT: The collective noun for weasels is "boogle".
A Weasel I Briefly Met Reviewed by Tom Cox on 13:04:00 Rating: 5 It's been several years since I've been abroad. I could put this down to a couple of ver...

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I disagree with only one thing - you refer (I think) to Michael Gove as a weasel. He is not a weasel. He is an evil man. Weasels do what they do to survive. MG does what he does because he can.

Alice Bondi said...

I've seen a very similar episode with a stoat. I heard a blood-curdingly screaming outside my kitchen window, which proved to be a stoat attacking a young rabbit. Then a very big rabbit ran at it; the stoat dropped the youngster and disappeared into the nearby Solomon's Seal. The youngster was clearly too far gone to be salvageable; the bigger rabbit hopped around in a sadly bewildered way, and then the stoat reappeared, grabbed the dying/dead baby and zoomed off with it.

I have to confess to feeling less kindly towards rabbits than you do; since the gamekeepers slaughtered all the foxes in the area, rabbits have become a plague, and I can't grow any vegetables without netting. Add to that the pheasants that have escaped from the shooting on the far side of the valley (at least my side doesn't have any shooting), and I do sometimes feel as if there is a conspiracy to prevent me growing my own food....

Anna H said...

This, Tom! This is why you are meant to be a writer. This is why I am fucking grateful that you "failed" as a professional golfer (notice the inverted commas!)

Whilst reading this, I felt sad, slightly distressed at what had happened, worried about the baby bunny knowing that I'd have done the same as you, also a bit jealous that you live somewhere that is just so "you". Then, all of a sudden, you sneak in a guffaw of laughter that SHOULD feel inappropriate, among all the emotion, but it doesn't. It feels right. That's what today's young 'uns call "skillz".

Don't ever stop what you're doing.

Ellen Zahl said...

Tom, This is wonderful. I wish that I could recall the best animal/earth/pain writing I've read, to tell you that you're as good as any, better than many, but in my dotage I can't. The honesty and love in it are good things too. I thought also of your saying in 'Message to the Country', that you might start including family as well as cats, (not that cats are lesser creatures.) This writing seems another kind of moving on.
Another time I'll say more. Ellen

fifowkes said...

Wonderful blog, Tom. So pleased you shed the commercial shackles. Please keep writing, educating & delighting.
Fi

Rita Egan said...

I have had a snail invasion in my little piece of England known as my garden. I agonised over what to do. Lose my carefully nurtured flowers or commit mass murder. I opted for the latter and a few days ago was confronted with a mass grave of dead snails. Bear, I feel your angst. Flowers are now thriving but I feel awful!

Rita Egan said...

I have had a snail invasion in my little piece of England known as my garden. I agonised over what I had to do. Lose my carefully nurtured flowers or commit mass murder. I opted for the latter and a few days ago was confronted with a mass grave of dead snails. Bear, I feek your angst. Flowers are now thriving but I feel awful!g

Tracered Fires said...

Very Durrell. Takes me straight back to young boyhood memories. Exquisite.

ellen zahl said...

More about A Weasel.

There isn't contrived word in it. The 'wanksome executive', the weasel's 'unfaithful sex' are what they are, riding along with the other words. Will you keep it for a book, send it out? Never mind--just look at it and know how good you are (Just don't let Bear see you ).

willwallywonder said...

A well timed post in my Twitter feed led me here. I'm glad I came.

Squirl said...

Tom, I love your way with words, your honesty, your ability to look more deeply and compassionately at the world around you. And I sure as hell love that you share these with us, mostly people you've never met. We appreciate you so very much.
Peg

jeesau said...

"I didn't actually wish I'd filmed it at all. The Internet just made me briefly think I did." Perfectly put. I find myself doing the same thing and wonder why.

Ireth Seregon said...

It's the first time i've read your book, it was in the new section of my library lol. behind it said u have a tumblr whymycatissad but when i checked in it was under construction? Tumblr is great.

Jemma said...

Hi Tom. Great post, what a fantastic and rare thing to have seen!
I've just found your blog and I'm very much enjoying it. You have a lovely writing style, you're inspiring me to take a long-overdue trip to Devon.